So it's been a month since I posted... I guess that is my cue.
(FYI: Kayla is married now, and she was absolutely gorgeous! Kayla and Jordon both looked great, and are so happy. I can't believe my little sister is married, but that day is one of the greatest memories I have! I will post pictures later.)
I've really been having a dilemma. I always struggle over which kind of mother I should be. I hear everywhere and from everyone that you need to be disciplined with your kids and be consistent with discipline. Be firm and set boundaries etc... Well, I am not good at this. I hate it when my kids are sad and I'm probably too relaxed when it comes to rules and enforcing them. So what is the best form of discipline? All the 'experts' say time-out, and yet it doesn't really seem to be working for us. I think maybe I'm just not disciplined or consistent enough with Nathan, but when I try to be more firm and consistent, no one is ever happy. He is always being 'punished' or disciplined for one thing or another. And I find myself yelling and losing my cool way more often.
Or I can just relax, and be the happy Mom. He probably won't get punished for making a mess, or taking cookies downstairs. I won't be freaking out when he writes with Crayon all over the wall (because I know I can get it off... but is that the point?). He will get in trouble for hitting or spitting (the trouble areas right now), but when it comes to other things, there probably won't be a ton of discipline. It is difficult for me to find much middle ground. So which Mom should I be? Will the consistent Mom pay off in the end? Or will he just remember that I was either always yelling, or that I was happy? I want to be happy. But then I worry that I'm not doing it right. Will he ever learn to obey, or stop making messes, or taking off his clothes and running around naked while I am teaching a piano lesson? (today's lovely experience.) Which one do you recommend? And which Mom are you? I feel guilty when I'm the disciplined Mom, and there are times when I have a reason to feel guilty. I get way too angry and yell too much. I know that's not what they mean when they say consistent, but that's just the way it works for me. I just want to love my boys. I want to have fun and play games, and read stories... even when they've been bad. Oh, the dilemmas of motherhood...
